Monday, December 1, 2014

Toddlers: Thinking Outside the Lines

Lines? What lines? just go at that paper with your crayons or markers.. or even better, finger paints... and make colors. Somebody's gonna hang that sucker up and act like it's a Rembrandt. And they'll be right.

You can eat just one bite of everything on your plate and survive, no matter what your parents tell you.

You can also eat the same exact thing for about a year, every day, and you'll survive.

Fancy clothes are completely pointless.

These are not, however, to be confused with dress-up clothes. Dress-up clothes rule.

The severity of the owie is opposite to the amount of very loud crying you should do, i.e. a scratch nobody can find is worth at least 20 solid minutes of tearful rebuke to the miserable grain of sand that did it to you. Stitches? No big deal. You get ice cream and a hug and you forget about it within the hour.

The floor makes a much better play surface than a table. You might even find a random M & M or a Cheerio you can eat. Your parents will be horrified for some unknown reason.

Grownups will tell you that you can't fly. You should still give it a try.

Build a fort with the sofa at least once a week. Maybe, once a day. If you have a flashlight to use in the fort, well.... Best. Fort. Ever..!

You can be someone different every day, and we're not talking about a teacher or a chemical engineer. No, no...we're talking a lumberjack, a crane operator, a rock star, a pig, dinosaur, dog, or a fairy. Or a dump truck. Not someone who drives it, the actual dump truck.

And if there is a road being built close to your house and you have a marvelous mom, she will pack a picnic lunch and the two of you will go visit. She will let you watch with your mouth hanging open for an hour or two while she reads.

You can get up every morning knowing you will definitely have fun: it's your job. You will create most of it yourself, and everything you do is an adventure. Most of the stuff you do, you have never done before. Because you're not yet 6 years old. You haven't lived long enough to do much stuff.

The songs you make up are all completely awesome. You sing them at the top of your lungs and no two versions are ever the same. You will likely forget all of them by this afternoon.

Socks are highly overrated.

It is almost impossible for you to choose your favorite holiday: The one where you dress up in a costume and go out with a bag and people throw candy in it, no questions asked....or the one where you get presents just because you exist in the world. A very, very tough choice-especially since some of those gifts include socks and fancy clothes.

You are unabashedly fond of hugs: receiving them or giving them, to anyone--including complete strangers, and people who don't share your enthusiasm, and especially to dogs. Any size dog, any time.

You don't quite understand why your parent or parents have to go to that Work thing. They never look all that happy when they leave nor when they get home. Why do they do it, then?

If you absolutely, positively, have to, you take a nap. While you will usually fight it, the moment you lay down, you will fall fast asleep, and sleep well. When you wake up, after a little transition time, you'll be off and running full bore once again.

Socks? Who needs socks? 
There is no middle ground when it comes to bugs: You are either fascinated by them, or you are convinced they will devour  you in one gulp, especially the tiniest ones. If you are terrified of them, Dad's the one to take care of the problem.

However, you will have no issue whatsoever with songs or books about bugs.

Frogs, on the other hand, now frogs....these are to be coveted and sought out by all children. Not sure if this has to do with the kind you kiss and it turns into a prince, but it might.

If you are very lucky and your mom lets you have a goldfish, you will overfeed it and ignore it in equal amounts, and when it dies, you will be inconsolable.

When you are little, you fight having a bath with all your might, usually because you are very busy slaying dragons or hiding from your sister. However, once you get in the bath, you don't ever want to get out, no matter how cold you are: you have transferred to playing with plastic bowls and cups and singing "We All Live In a Yellow Sunk-a-reen."

Which reminds me: blowing bubbles rocks!!!

When your mom/dad/brother/sister/dog is sad, you will offer your most favorite toy to them so they will feel better. They will look at you in complete awe and will feel better immediately. For some reason, though, they might cry a little.

You will do all these things and act this way because your imagination is still limitless. It doesn't occur to you to stop dreaming up all kinds of stuff nobody else thinks of. What fun would that be?

You have the ability to make time stand still. This, however, will only last a few years, so take advantage of it while you can.

And when you've become that most odd and rather sad of things, a Grownup, take a few minutes every day to channel your inner toddler. You'll enjoy your life a whole lot more.

Puff, the Magic Dragon.....

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