Cyberbullying

Have you heard the term 'cyberbullying' before? Do you know what it is?

The term refers to bullying that goes on in an online forum, such as texting, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Tumblr, or any other place where people post comments and engage in conversations, such as while playing online games. The bullying is very similar to any other form of bullying..... It includes:

• Making fun of someone for any reason whatsoever
• For example, someone with a disability or someone who looks 'different'
• It might be someone who has a particular body shape, like tall, short, thin, overweight
• People can be picked on because they are smart or slow, intelligence-wise
• People who speak differently can be a target
• Someone's sexual orientation
• Someone from another country
• A person's religion
• A 'new' student
• Bullies will even pick on someone for their hair color or clothes or backpack, or for no particular reason. If the victim is hurt or scared, the bullies continue.
• If someone is perceived as a 'teacher's pet' he or she might be picked on
• When bullies work as a group, they are particularly intimidating and they know it
• Threatening people with harm
• Saying things like "I wish you would just die" or "you are worthless" or "you are so stupid" via text, Facebook post, Twitter post, or on any other social media site or where virtually anyone can read it: this shares the statement to potentially thousands of people

With cyberbullying, bullies can harass their victims anonymously...they can make up many different screen names, or in some cases post as 'guest' or 'anon'. This way, they can post multiple times and make it look like it was several different people when in fact it was one. This makes the bullies particularly bold and at the same time cowardly: they feel confident nobody will find out who's doing it, so they keep it up for long periods of time and are very aggressive with their posts.

These people have also been known to post while posing as other people, that is, using someone else's online or 'screen' name, without that person's knowledge.The victim then thinks a friend (and possibly a true longtime friend) is doing it, while the actual bully is unknown and it is not, in fact, the friend. People will also set up multiple accounts using made-up names and information.

The "bully" may also be a group of bullies working together, sharing what they have posted or texted-and sharing the posts by forwarding texts, re-tweeting, sharing posts, for example, and thinking it's funny, and that they are getting away with it.

Cyberbullying happens 24/7, from anywhere the bullies have access to the internet; usually, their phones. Comments 'go viral' the instant the person taps or clicks, and can (in theory) be seen by millions of people, not only those who know you. Once any of the posts have been made, it is sometimes impossible to delete them. Bullies will also post pictures claiming it's the victim, when it's some random picture they found online, or 'doctor' pictures to make the victim look bad.

What should you do if cyberbullying is happening to you?

• First, if you are a young person, tell someone such as a parent or teacher, some adult who might be able to help make it stop: don't wait until it escalates. Someone should know it's happening.
• Take screen shots of what is posted and print them, keep the printouts in a place where you can find them easily
• If the bullying is happening via text messages, do not delete those texts. Keep them as proof.
• Remember, if there is something about you or your life that you don't want everyone to know, then don't post it. Even people who mean you no harm may share these things with others who do.
• Don't ever tell anyone your passwords, not even your friends. It could wind up in the wrong hands accidentally. If you feel bullied, change your passwords often. Make it harder for them to get into your accounts. Use different passwords for each account.
• Don't ever agree to meet someone in person if you have only ever chatted with him or her online. If you decide to do it anyway, take at least one friend with you.
• Turn off your technology sometimes. Talk to people. Go outside. Read something.
• If it's happening on Facebook, report it, and block anyone from your account other than people you completely trust. If you have any doubts about someone, or don't know the person well, he or she is not allowed to see anything you post, at least for a while until you figure out who is doing the bullying. You can also put people on a Restricted list so they see nothing you post. If you choose to, you can take them off your Restricted list later on. They can go on and off any list you create, and will not be notified.
• Remember that only 'unfriending' on Facebook still allows the person to send you a message request via Messenger. You want that to stop, so block.
• In fact, don't obsess about blocking people that bother you. You're standing up for yourself, and that's what you need to do.
• At Twitter, block (don't only 'unfollow') people who are or who may well be doing this to you.
• At Instagram or Snapchat, at least silence but preferable unfollow anyone except your most completely trusted friends. Remember, if you have only 'met' them online, you don't really know people.
• See if  you can figure out who is doing it.
• Contact the venue where it's happening: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, for example, all have policies against cyberbullying and will want to know when someone is being abusive.
• As much as you really, really, want to, do not respond to the posts/don't retaliate. It won't help.

Life Lesson #2435: If someone texts you 183 times to threaten or otherwise bother you, and you finally cave on the 184th text to say: Stop it, leave me alone!! Your abuser just learned that it takes 183 texts to get you to respond. This person should be blocked from your phone, but if he/she is simply using a number you don't identify, you should not answer: add that number to your rejected calls, and do nothing in terms of responding. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Consider changing your number and only giving it to a very few people.

• Close your social media account(s) and open a new one with a different name, or alternately, just close your account and make yourself unavailable for online assault. If anyone asks, just tell them "I'm not on Twitter anymore." No need to explain.
• Keep track of when and how often it's happening, and the screen names of those doing it: is it always the same people, or is it a new crop all the time?
• It is likely that the participants  are talking amongst themselves and planning their next assault together.
• If you are afraid for your safety, get in touch with law enforcement 

Here is Facebook's page for help if you are being harassed there:   https://www.facebook.com/help/263149623790594

Twitter's safety advice and how to report:
https://support.twitter.com/articles/15794#


Being wise about sharing your personal information online.
http://www.askthejudge.info/the-dangers-of-over-sharing-on-social-media/
It mentions geo-tagging: see Triogenius' post "A Geo What?" April 16, 2012-people can find out where your pictures were taken, and thereby where you live and hang out.

Unfortunately, it is not uncommon. If you are being bullied, you are among between 9 and 13% of all high school age students. And those are only reported instances---it is probably happening more than that. It happens to both males and females, females slightly more often.

If anyone thinks it's not a big deal, that is, if you are doing some of these things, consider the consequences to the person being bullied:

• People may turn to alcohol or drug use to escape being unhappy
• They may skip school, or refuse to attend school
• Grades may drop when they were good before
• Changing schools may not be the answer to the problem
• The person's self-esteem drops
• Health problems such as weight loss, weight gain, not being able to sleep, headaches, etc. may occur in people who were healthy before the bullying started
• Victims of bullying sometimes think about suicide
• Feeling lonely, excluded, and powerless

Laws that pertain to punishment for bullying, including cyberbullying, fall under 'Freedom of Speech;' that law does not include freedom to express yourself in such a way as to harass or harm others in any way. Bullying and stalking are also very similar, and both are punishable by law.


 This is the statute in MN concerning stalking:

https://www.revisor.mn.gov/laws/?id=160&year=2014&type=0
If you are tempted to make fun of someone, please think before you do....if you have ever had someone put you down, you know what that feels like. Words definitely do hurt.

  A video about cyberbullying:

 https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=cyberbullying&&view=detail&mid=93C0B9694125379F477093C0B9694125379F4770&&FORM=VRDGAR

Other helpful sites:

 http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/index.html

 This has a number of really interesting "related posts" towards the bottom of the article:

http://www.askthejudge.info/cyberbullying-stories-and-laws/

 

 

 

 

Witches and Bullies

How much do you know about the Salem Witch Trials?

 

We joke about witches now; people dress up as witches for Halloween and think nothing of it. But in the 1690s, witchcraft was considered very real, and so was the punishment for it.

Do you think it could happen now? What goes on in 2018 that compares to it? It seems to me that it was a case of Ultimate Bullying.

Let's understand that at the time, the village of Salem was in dire straits economically because a lot of refugees were coming their way, both from surrounding areas and as far away as Canada. This caused a lot of friction between the rich and the poor, and strained their limited resources as well: was there enough food for all these newcomers? Where would they live? And just as importantly to them, Did they have the same religious beliefs?

                                       Here's where Salem was/is: Today it's called Danvers.

Add that to the existing extremely rigid concepts of 'right' and 'wrong', 'moral' and 'immoral,' and you have a good breeding ground for suspicion, judgment, blame, plus the fear of eternal damnation.


-Bullying tactic #1: 'Us v. Them': We have the 'right' beliefs and you do not. That gives us the right to condemn you.

At the time, although the concept of freedom of religion prompted settlers to move to America, many religions still held very severe standards and were quick to condemn anyone who strayed from their concept of right and wrong. And so, ironically, these settlers were very judgmental towards those who didn't follow the same religions as they did, rather than insisting on religious freedom for all. People depended on their religious leaders to tell them how to behave, much more than town leaders, and if anyone digressed from it, there was going to be trouble.

There was a solid belief not only in God but in the Devil, and that the Devil could control people if they didn't fight it off with prayer and other religious practices.

In the village of Salem, in 1692, the religious leader of Salem Village was named Samuel Parris. He had formerly been working at a mission in the Caribbean, and when he moved to America, he brought with him some very defined ideas. He also brought with a slave woman named Tituba; his wife; and daughter Elizabeth (sometimes called 'Betty'). There was no question in his household who was the all-wise leader.


-Bullying tactic #2: You are different, therefore, you are evil.

The records indicate that Betty Parris, who was all of 9 years old, Abigail Williams, and Ann Putnam, both age 11, began to have 'fits,' wherein they would talk wildly, dive under tables, wave their arms about, and otherwise act in a bizarre fashion. Their local doctor-not knowing how to diagnose it- declared them to be possessed by evil. It might just be they were playing some sort of silly game, and that's all it was. Their parents expressed their anger and embarrassment at this behavior.

Wanting to blame someone and avoid getting into trouble, (after all, who would respect a church leader with a possessed daughter?), the girls accused Tituba, the slave (and how could she stand a chance, she was a woman and black and a slave from a country few had heard about); Sarah Good, a beggarwoman; and Sarah Osborne, a poor elderly woman, of casting spells over them. The two Sarahs denied any such thing. Being from the Caribbean, Tituba believed in and practiced things like spells, voodoo, and what was considered witchcraft; so when she was accused, she did not deny it.


The fear spread throughout the area to the point where almost everyone suspected everyone else of being witches.

 

And sometimes, if you repeat something enough, people believe it to be true even when it is not.


-Bullying tactic #3: Don't look at me, I'm perfect. I'm not sure about you, though. Suspicion is a cover for fear.

Imagine wondering about every person you encounter on a daily basis: Are you one? Are you one?

Women, in particular, were accused of being witches left and right. Why? Because they might be poor and/or dirty; they were thought to be promiscuous; they were not attending church; they seemed to have magical healing powers (be careful if you give your child chicken soup, it might make him better); they used foul language; they were pretty and therefore tempting to men; they were too clean; they were from another country and spoke more than one language. They didn't dress like the others---not wearing black? How dare you!? Or, they didn't keep their hair tucked under their hats. Even today, when we think of a witch, it's a woman with long flowing hair, not  having it neatly wound up in a knot. And just imagine a woman who knew how to read and write-she must surely be a witch!

While there were men accused of witchcraft or harboring a witch, most of the accused were women. Why? Because men were keen to keep control of all things-especially 'their' women- and to maintain their superiority. And yet, women agreed and were just as complicit in accusing and punishing other women, none of which had any basis. One man expressed doubt that any of this was witchcraft, and was accused of practicing witchcraft himself.



                                 
        It appears that what we think of as witches' clothing is just an exaggeration of typical Puritan fashion of that time. Notice one woman (with a pointy hat, no less) is smoking a pipe, and it seems perfectly acceptable.


Fear of the religious leaders and of the courts kept many silent when they knew it was wrong.


It was during this time that a court could try someone based on "spectral evidence"; this practice was later disallowed. Spectral evidence included thoughts or dreams someone might have in a situation such as this: Someone's daughter died, there was no cause known, but the father had a dream that some man cast a spell over her that caused her death. The man seen in the dream would then be charged with consorting with the Devil and put on trial.

.
Scientists have since wondered if the girls who originally reported odd behavior, Betty Parris, Abigail Williams, and Ann Putnam, may have eaten foods contaminated with a fungus that caused their behavior, called ergotism. The fungus was common in rye and wheat, and rye was a staple food in that area at the time.

It's possible that one or more of these girls actually had what we would now call a mental illness, which would not have been understood in those days. It's unlikely that they all had exactly the same illness at the same time, however.

 

Eventually, 19 people were put on trial and then put to death for witchcraft. They were generally hanged, not burned at the stake. One, a man named Giles Corey, was executed by having heavy stones piled on him until he was crushed to death. If an accused person did not 'admit' his or her guilt, they were automatically found guilty; there were no attorneys for the accused-our present day system of trying people for crimes was not yet in place. Accused people had to face the judge, who would decide their fate largely based on what the crowd was saying.

 

Once the hysteria had subsided, what was left of the 200 people held in jail were released. It's interesting to note the word 'hysteria' from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary: 
New Latin, from English hysteric, adjective, from Latin hystericus, from Greek hysterikos, from hystera womb; from the Greek notion that hysteria was peculiar to women and caused by disturbances of the uterus

 Trial Transcript, September 10, 1692.  Hard to read,

but notice the words "that diabolicall art of witchcraft"

in the middle of the page.

-Bullying Tactic #4: I don't want to call attention to myself, so I will say nothing. Someone else can deal with it.
It must have been the goal of many people to 'fly under the radar', that is, not to get involved at all, whether to defend people against these ridiculous claims, or to show any interest, lest you would be considered guilty as well. The fear that must have pervaded the lives of these people must have been enormous. And yet, it's generally considered being 'a good Christian' to defend the innocent and give shelter to those in need.

 

   

 

Marker for one of the executed persons

 

Bullying Tactic #5: I am in control. You have no power. I dictate your punishment.

Keep in mind that these strict religions required twice a week attendance at long church services and did not allow music, dancing, toys and especially dolls, no holiday celebrations, and no interaction of children with any adults, certainly not religious leaders (there is an old saying: children should be seen and not heard). So much of the atmosphere was about who was in charge.

 

We can also imagine three young girls, bored, with nothing else to do, decide to make up a game that had them act like they were crazy, it got out of hand, but they were enjoying the attention...and then they couldn't admit what they had done so they blamed others. Since their fathers were prominent town leaders, the courts and religious leaders ran with the idea to the point where people were put on trial and executed. Think what would have happened to these girls by the time it reached a point of mass hysteria: That woman I accused? Sorry, just kidding. Oops.

Do you see how this instance of bullying resulted in disaster? How have things changed, or do bullies still operate the same now? Why does it matter that we remember and understand the Salem Witch Trials?

 

The topics above are topics that are still relevant today;

• Us Vs. Them: What is our concept of anyone different, such as people who don't line up with our way of thinking?
• Different=Evil. Is different wrong? Are we too rigid in what we can accept when it comes to differing points of view? How is our tolerance level these days?
• It's Not Me: How much do we blame others when we might be a part of the problem?
• I'm Not Getting Involved: If you never speak your mind, how will anyone know what you think? How will you find others who feel the same? How will you open up to other ideas?
• Control: Who do we allow to control us? Why?
• 'My religion is the right religion, you have it wrong and you're going to hell for it'

How much are women still viewed as less than, untrustworthy, or having some ability to cause havoc, or are suspicious, simply because they are women? Will that ever change?

                                      It's not easy being green.

Here are sites giving more information about the Salem Witch Trials:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/brief-salem.html

http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/salem/SALEM.HTM

http://historyofmassachusetts.org/the-salem-witch-trials/

http://home.alphalink.com.au/~umbidas/why_does.htm explains why 'f' looks like 's' in old writings.

http://www.earlyamerica.com/review/2000_fall/salem_witch.html

                                                

What is Sexual Harassment?

Most often, sexual harassment happens to females and is instigated by males. This is not always the case: Men can be affected by this problem, too. This can also be referred to as 'gender harassment.' Basically, it's bullying that involves insulting, frightening, or intimidating someone based on his or her gender and by the amount of power the harasser possesses. It isn't usually a one-time occurence: It is often repetitive. And it doesn't only happen in big businesses: it's about power.

 

What does it "look like"? Here are some examples-

 

Comments, often ending in "Sweetheart" "Honey" or other terms of endearment

• "Why don't you smile?"
• "Your (fill in body part here) looks great in that skirt"
• "I like a high heel on a woman, the higher the better"
• "If you want to make an impression, you gotta show more leg"
• 'You're too pretty to bother your head about that"
• Catcalls and wolf whistles as a woman walks down the street
• "Can I have your number? No? Why not?"
• Obscene gestures, remarks, and insults; calling women insulting names
• Sometimes those making the remarks claim they're compliments. They're not.

It can be in the form of texts, e-mails, posted notices, or pictures that are sexually explicit/offensive, especially in the workplace, or anywhere. These may even contain threats if the victim tells or doesn't cooperate.

 The audacity of men who overtly state their 'power' over women:

• "You were by far the best looking candidate, so we hired you."
• "Your ideas don't really matter, honey. Just sit there and look pretty."
• "Men have always run this company: Don't try to play with the guys."
• "You're good eye candy even if you're never going to go any further."
• "It's so cute how you think you know this business."
• "Let's be clear: I'm in charge, and you never will be. You're too pretty for that anyway."
• "You don't need to be an executive, let your husband do that."
• "If you really want the promotion, you'll let me."
• "Women can't do that."
• "Maybe if you wore a shorter skirt, you'd get a raise."

 Unwanted touching-This can be called assault

• Someone slaps your behind with a laugh and a wink
• Someone puts a hand on your back to guide you into a room
• Someone puts a hand on the back of your neck as he speaks to you
• Someone gives you a hug you didn't ask for
• Someone kisses you-anywhere
• Someone surrounds you such as up against a wall, or in the pretense of showing you something on your computer
• Someone pats your knee
• Someone 'adjusts' your clothes: Buttons a button, unzips or zips a zipper
• Someone fusses with your hair
• Someone plots to get you alone somewhere so that you have no way out

There are people who carry it much further and have raped women because they know they can 'get away with it,' the women feel powerless when left alone with a powerful man, believing all he wants is to have a drink with her and then finding he is forcing himself on her: no matter how fit a woman is, she will almost always be less physically powerful and unable to fight him off, plus he has placed her in a frightened and vulnerable position. He may give her a drug without her knowledge that makes her unable to refuse, or to be unaware what is happening.

Fear of having the public know about the assault, fear of the rapist and all the money he has, will often lead to the silence of women and the ability for the rapist to continue to do it to others. She may be afraid no one will believe her, as well. Sadly, there's still a tendency to blame the victim:

• She must have been asking for it.
• Why did she dress like that? What did she expect?
• She brought it on herself
• She's a tease

How pervasive is sexual harassment?

The EEOC (Equal Opportunity Commission) says that in 2012 there were about 15,000 sexual harassment complaints filed. Of these....

• 79% of people with sexual harassment complaints were women, 21% men
• 51% of these people experienced the harassment from a supervisor
• 38% of these people were harassed by someone of a higher rank on the job
• 12% of these people were threatened with being fired if they spoke out
• There were 26,000 cases of sexual harassment reported in the armed forces in 2012 (a traditionally male-dominant field)

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act lays out the law against sexual harassment, a form of discrimination. This bill was passed in 1964.

How can we stop it?

• If you're considering a rude remark, stop and think first: Would it be OK if someone said that to your mother/wife/daughter/sister? No? Then don't say it.
• Respect: it's called for in everyday living, everywhere, with everyone
• Don't join a "good ole boys" group. It's stupid.
• Just because someone else said it or did it, doesn't mean it's OK
• Put some thought into your remarks, your actions, how you conduct yourself. Be the honorable one.
• Be a role model: Let others see how you conduct yourself, including younger boys and men
• Better to have never done it, but an apology is the next best thing

                               Not just applicable to street harassment

For those who are victims of sexual harassment, remember:

• Your personal space is just that. You have every right to say, don't do that or don't talk to me that way.
• Your body is not for anyone to touch unless you want them to. You can very firmly and loudly say, stop that right now. It's probably a good idea to leave the area immediately as well.
• You don't have to listen to or read anything that bullies you.
• Report the person and the situation. It doesn't matter if you have no witnesses.
• Don't ever let yourself believe that a person in a position of power has the right to assault you.

There are resources available to help you fight the harrassment:
Here are some:
http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-at-work/workplace-sexual-harassment/
http://www.feminist.org/911/harass.html
https://www.eeoc.gov/laws/types/sexual_harassment.cfm

 

 

 

I Demand My 1st Amendment Rights!! BTW What are they? Part 1, Freedom of Speech

Your First Amendment Rights include:

Freedom of Speech

Freedom of the Press
Freedom of Assembly
Freedom of Religioin
Freedom of Petition

 

First let's talk about.....

 

Freedom of Speech:

 

• The obvious is the right of every citizen to speak his or her mind, especially when it comes to politics. In a nutshell, it means if you want to say you disapprove or have negative feelings about the President of the United States or any other representative, you can, and you won't be arrested for doing so.
• Freedom of Speech is sometimes called Freedom of Expression; they are essentially the same, although 'expression' also means expressing yourself in different ways.

Freedom of Speech means you can:

• Seek, receive, or give out information
• This would mean you can look for information without fear of being arrested or penalized. You can seek information in person, through records, through libraries, online, and through the mail.

• You can also receive information: If you call and ask, or visit and ask, a source to send you information-that is perfectly legal, and your information (particularly mail) can't be censored, it is your personal property.
• 'Speech' also means the right to carry a sign, to put one in your yard, or on your car, or on clothing you wear, because this is a form of expression.
• You have the freedom to express yourself in art, as well: Song, painting, sculpture, writing, are all ways to express what you feel. Did you know some books have been "banned" in the US in the past? Read more about that in Triogenius, Jan. 5, 2015. How do you feel about censorship?

• You can give out information you have found, although it depends on where you want to speak or give out information in the form of flyers, for example. If you want to give a speech to a number of people about your beliefs, you can. You can't, however, do this in a space, even if it's public, if there are restrictions as to number of people, etc. One prime example is at a State Fair. There are people who own the land, specifically the state, who can restrict your speaking there. You may not assemble and make speeches on the grounds of a prison, because it is also usually state-owned. You may or may not be allowed to make speeches in a 'public' park, You are required to ask permission and then abide by the findings.

• Students do not necessarily have the right to speak on school grounds about their issues.
• While technically, you have the 'right' to say bad things about someone, whether in public, through the mail, or online, there is the question of ethics and how it damages that person in the process. Having the 'right' to say it doesn't mean you should say it.
• You do, perhaps unfortunately, have the right to burn the American flag in protest.
•  You do have the right to take photos of people in public places.
• You do have the right to form a protest and carry signs; however, you need to find a place where it will be allowed and get the necessary permit from the community. Some communities will not allow the use of signs mounted on sticks, in order to avoid possible violence.

• When protesting, you do not have the right to incite violence (see below). When this happens or seems imminent, law enforcement is allowed to move in and stop the protest.The protest should not infringe the rights of others (such as blocking traffic)
• Since the Internet is relatively new, discussions about rights online is a developing topic: how much  and what kind of information should we allow to be shared online? How can we regulate that? Should we? Who would decide?

 

Things you do NOT have the right to do with your Freedom of Speech:

• Saying or otherwise expressing things that incite or provoke people to violence
• Saying things that cause a panic in people (the traditional yelling "FIRE" in a theatre)
• Saying offensive things (this is open to a broad interpretation: What is offensive, and to whom?)

• Saying things that promote hate/hate crimes. You cannot speak of your hatred of a particular race, for example, when you make a speech.
• Saying, or collecting, or sharing obscene things-materials such as pictures or videos, especially involving children and vulnerable others
• Saying things that slander or defame other people
• Denying anyone else their freedom of speech
• Bullying behavior whether in person, online, or through your phone
• You cannot speak on matters that are classified information, are copyrighted, or that reveal trade secrets.
• Graffiti (sometimes called "Tagging") is damage to someone else's property; it is not simply freedom of expression. You see it frequently on train cars and buildings. Sometimes people will spray paint 'messages' on someone's house or a church. That is vandalism and possibly a hate crime.

For a legal description of this right: http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Freedom+of+Speech

There are countries in the world where freedom speech is not a given right. In Saudi Arabia, for example, if you speak against the religion of Islam, you can be put to death. Iran, Eritrea, Turkmenistan, China, North Korea, and other countries are very restrictive as to this freedom we take for granted here. Read more about it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freedom_of_speech_by_country